Will Self-Compassion Make You Lazy?

There is a common misunderstanding that self-compassion means lowering your standards or being lenient with the quality of your work. But it is simply an attitude towards yourself, while you are doing the difficult and worthwhile things that you’re trying to do.

As a coach, most people I work with have very high standards for themselves. They are usually high-performers focused on doing things well in their work. But, at times in their lives, this catches up on them. Feelings of inadequacy, fatigue and burnout creep their way in. When it’s time to apply some self-compassion, the fear that it will make them lazy creeps in.

The double-edge sword of high performance

A sense of duty and ambition can, at times, come at the cost of one’s own well-being. All of a sudden, it becomes harder and harder to perform well. This is a human experience: it’s not indicative of some flaws that any one individual has.

When being tough towards ourselves stops being useful

We have been conditioned to think that being tough towards ourselves is responsible for our success. We take it as a given that beating ourselves up will make us avoid mistakes and make us sharper in the future. It’s understandable why. It worked pretty well through childhood and young adulthood. So, we think this will work well for…